| 2004-08-12 |
What Will Our Baby Be Called? |
Rating: 75/100 based on 4 votes. |
A high school girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party all alone.
Since she was very good looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her Mom said, "It is very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him 'what will be
the name of our baby?', that will scare them off." So off she went.
After a little while at the party a boy started dancing with her and,little by little, kissing her and touching her. She asked him, "What will our baby be called?"
The boy found some excuse and disappeared.
Some time later the same thing happened again, a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders . . . she stopped him and asked him about the baby's name, he ran off.
Later on another boy invited her for a walk, after a few minutes he started kissing her and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?"
He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more.
He began to have sex with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again.
After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, tied it in a knot and said, "If he gets out of this one . . . David Copperfield!" |
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| 2004-08-12 |
Lowing the Sex Drive |
Rating: 23/100 based on 3 votes. |
"You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after the examination.
"I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint - my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?"
The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?!" he gasped.
"My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can."
"Lower it?!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?"
"These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can." |
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| 2004-08-11 |
It's Lent |
Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. |
As it happened, their wedding night fell during a religious holiday, and, devout Episcopalian that he was, Mr. Rogers simply couldn't make love to his virginal bride.
"I'm sorry," he said as they snuggled in bed, "but I can't have you tonight. It's Lent."
Her brow crinkling with concern, his new bride said, "Okay . . . but to whom and for how long?" |
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| 2004-08-10 |
Can I Use a Lifeline |
Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. |
A husband and wife are in bed getting ready to go to sleep.
"Hey honey," the husband says as he rubs his wife's body, "You in the mood tonight, babe?"
"Not tonight dear, I have a TERRIBLE headache," she replies.
He asks, "Is that your final answer?"
"Ummmm, yes, dear, it is. Now got to sleep!" she says.
"Can I phone a friend? |
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| 2004-08-10 |
Hitchiking in Indian Territory |
Rating: 10/100 based on 2 votes. |
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..." |
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| 2004-08-09 |
Let's Go In After Him |
Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. |
Creeping around to the bedroom window, the private detectives saw their client's wife in bed with another man.
"Just as I suspected," said the first. "Let's go in after him."
"Great idea," the other replied. "How soon do you think he'll be finished?" |
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| 2004-08-08 |
Criticized? |
Rating: 43/100 based on 6 votes. |
A four-year-old boy had just come home from Hebrew School.
His father asked him what he'd learned that day.
The boy was quiet for a moment and then said, "Dad, have any of the men in our family had their penises criticized?"
The wife cracked up and told him the term was "circumcised" but the answer was still "Yes." |
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| 2004-08-07 |
Lesbian - Defined |
Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. |
| Lesbian: A mannish depressive with delusions of gender. |
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| 2004-08-06 |
What Do You Call? |
Rating: 17/100 based on 3 votes. |
Q: What do you call a 1000-pound woman in a bar holding a condom?
A: A half-ton pick-up with a box liner. |
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| 2004-08-06 |
Comparing Conquests |
Rating: 40/100 based on 2 votes. |
During a lull in the rehearsal the groom and best man, two long time friends and playboys, began to compare conquests.
The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, "You know Bill, except for my wife to be, my two sisters and my mother, I've made love to every woman in this room."
To which his friend responded, "Well then, between the two of us we've had them all!" |
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