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| 2004-02-17 | Old Men and Viagra | Rating: 10/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: Why do they give old men in Old people homes Viagra? A: So they don't roll out of bed. |
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| 2004-02-16 | Together at Last | Rating: 33/100 based on 4 votes. | ||||||||||
| Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they're finally together." A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me father, but you do mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?" The priest says, "I mean her legs." |
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| 2004-02-16 | This kid is crazy. | Rating: 20/100 based on 4 votes. | ||||||||||
| Characters in the joke: 1)A small kid who is 5 years old, 2)Three of his sisters, 3)His parents and, 4)a guest. The kid once went to his eldest sister who was reading a sex book and he pointed the penis of a guy and asked his sister what was that and her sister said "you bloody motherfucker get the hell out of here" and the kid went to his mom and asked what is the meaning of motherfucker to which his mom replied that it means only the mom and asked him to never use the term again. Then the kid went to his second sister who was playing basketball and asked her what was the thing that was jumping in her cheast and her sister said "you bloody asshole get the hell out of here" and the kid went to his mom and asked her what was the meaning of asshole to which his mom replied that it only means dad and asked him never to use this term. In the afternoon he went to his third sister who was busily masturbating and asked what was she doing to which the third sister said "fuck you man get the hell out of here" and the kid went to his mom and asked what does fuck mean to which his mom replied that it means to drink coffee and asked him to never use the term again. Then one day his mom and dad wre having their evening snacks while a guest came and asked the kid where his parents were to which the kid replied "asshole motherfucker is fucking inside the house even you go and fuck". |
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| 2004-02-14 | The Alien | Rating: 20/100 based on 4 votes. | ||||||||||
| There was once an alien and a guy sitting next to eachother in a bar. The alien was constantly pokeing the guy's cheek and saying zzzt! Finally, the guy got so mad at the alien that he said,"If you do that one more time, I'll chop your dick off!'' Again, the alien poked his cheek and said zzzt! The guy said, "Okay, that's it!" He got up, grabbed the sharpest knife he could find, and pulled down the alien's pants. But was astounded to see nothing there. He then said, "Well, if you don't have a dick, then how do you have sex?" The alien just smiled, poked the guy's cheek, and said zzzt! |
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| 2004-02-14 | Penis | Rating: 10/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| THe U.S. decided to invest $100,000 to research why the head of the penis is bigger than the shaft. Well after their research the concluded that it was for the pleasure of the woman. The Eniglish said no way you are idiots!! So they invested $125,000 to research why the head of the peinis is bigger than the shaft. Well they concluded that it was for the pleasure of the men. And then the Irish said that both the English and the U.S were wrong. So they put $75 into research and concluded that it was so that your hand will not hit you in the forehead! |
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| 2004-02-13 | Monica & Ted | Rating: 40/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| What do you get when you cross Monica Lewinsky and Ted Kazansky? A dynamite blowjob |
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| 2004-02-13 | The Bell System | Rating: 27/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| A fire chief had just gotten married and on his honeymoon he informed his new wife that their house was going to be run like a firehouse... he said that they would have sex on the bell system. He went on to say that one bell meant take your clothes off... two bells meant get into bed... and three bells meant start fooling around. The fire chief came home from work one day and decided to try out his system.... he hollered "One Bell" and she took off her clothes. He hollered "Two Bells" and she got into bed. He hollered "Three Bells" and they started fooling around like crazy. A few minutes later *she* yells "Four Bells" "Four Bells?" the fire chief asks "what is four bells?" "Let out more hose, Your not anywhere near the fire!" |
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| 2004-02-12 | Get a Rope | Rating: 37/100 based on 6 votes. | ||||||||||
| There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking they came upon the 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she's never seen anything like this before so she asks the boy, "What are they doing?" He says "They're making love." "Well, what's that long thing of his?" She asked. "Oh, uh, that's his rope" he answered. "Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked. He says "Those are his knots" She says, "Oh, Ok I got it." As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were." Surprised and excited, the boy agrees. While they're getting at all hot and heavy, she grabs his testicles and squeezes. "Whoa, what are you doing?" he shouts. The girl replies, "I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope." |
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| 2004-02-12 | Fred Flintstone | Rating: 15/100 based on 4 votes. | ||||||||||
| One night when Whilma was out of town, Fred went to the local bar. He got INCREDIBLY drunk, and was TRYING to pick up some chicks! "eww! get away from me you smelly, fat drunk! " hey! I might not LOOK like uch...but I can sure make your BED-ROCK!" |
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| 2004-02-11 | Clinton after sex | Rating: 50/100 based on 4 votes. | ||||||||||
| What does Bill Clinton say after sex? "Ill be home shortly Hillary." |
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