|
 |
| 2004-03-25 | Appreciating Art | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A couple went to a gallery to look at some art. One painting was of a beautiful, naked woman with only a little foliage covering her private area. The wife thought the picture was in bad taste and moved on quickly, but the husband lingered, completely transfixed. "What are you waiting for?" asked his wife. "Autumn?" |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-25 | Mickey and Minnie in Divorce Court | Rating: 10/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. They are in court and the judge askes Mickey "Your divorcing Minnie because she is insane?" Mickey replied "No judge I'm divorcing her because she is fucking Goofy!" |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-24 | Radio Interview | Rating: 47/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali. Last week the competition went like this: Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? Brian: Ohhh, maaaate. Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian? Brian: Orrrrr .... about 10 minutes. Presenter: 10 minutes ? Good one. And where did you do it mate? Brian: Ohhhh maaaaate, I can't say that. Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? Brian: Yeah, alright. Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. Sharelle: Hi Brian. Brian: Hi Sharelle. Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. Sharelle: O.K. Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ? Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio. Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle ? Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it ? Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listing. No way, no. Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway .. just tell em. Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the arse ! Radio Silence............ Advert Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break. |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-24 | Two Whales | Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female: "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. This they tried and, sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors were swimming to the safety of the shore. Enraged, the male whale told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore. At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen". |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-23 | Fluffy Toys Everywhere | Rating: 70/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| A guy met a girl at a nightclub and she invited him back to her place for the night. She still lived with her parents, but they were out of town, so this was the perfect opportunity. They got back to her house and they went into her bedroom. When guy walked in the door, he noticed all sorts of fluffy toys. There's hundreds of them; fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill - there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed. Later, after they've had sex, the guy turned to her and asked, "So, how was I?" She replied, "Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf." |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-23 | Pull My Ears | Rating: 30/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| These aliens land in this farmers field and they go in and start talking to the farmer and his wife. After a while, they decide to swap sex partners for the night. So, the human man and the alien woman go in one room, and the alien man and the human woman go in another room. The alien man and human woman are about to get frisky when she looks at him and says, "Gosh...it's so big!" "If you like," replies the alien, "you can make it bigger by pulling on my ears." So, she pulls on his ears and, bing, it gets bigger. The next morning the aliens leave and the human couple are talking. "Well, honey," says the husband, "how was it?" "I just gotta tell ya," she says with a faraway look in her eyes, "it was the best I've ever had. How 'bout you, was it good? "It wasn't worth a damn," he says. "That bitch was trying to pull my ears off all night long!" |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-22 | Prostitute Parrots? | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!" |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-22 | Smoking on the Porch | Rating: 45/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| 2 old ladies are smoking outside their retirement home when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies gets up to walk inside, but the other one pulls out a condom and cuts off the end and wraps it around her cigarette and keeps smoking. Her friend stares in amazment. So she rush to her pharmacy. When she gets to the counter she asks the man for some condoms. The man in shock asks if she wants any certain kind? The woman replises, "Just make sure they will fit a Camel." |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-21 | Bedroom Golf | Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Rules of Bedroom Golf The Rules of Bedroom Golf 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again. 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason. 9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. 10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. 11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at tall times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case. 12. The course owners is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of alignment with, and approach to the hole. 13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine. 14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request. 15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. |
||||||||||||
| 2004-03-20 | What Did the Banana Say to the Vibrator? | Rating: 10/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: What did the Bannana say to the Vibrator? A: Hey, what are you shaking for? I'm the one she's going to eat. |
||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||
 |
Video Box 1500+ DVD Movies! |
 |
 |
| Our rating : |
|
Deluxe Pass 1500 Adult DVD's |
|
 |
| Our rating : |
|
In The Crack | |
 |
| Our rating : |
|
Teenage Dreams | |
 |
| Our rating : |
|
1 by Day | |
 |
| Our rating : |
|
Babes of Twistys | |
 |
| Our rating : |
