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| 2004-03-31 | The Cost of Sex | Rating: 15/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Three horny friends, a white guy, a black guy and a Jewish guy decide to visit a prostitute. The prostitute is so happy to get three customers at once that she offers them a deal, "You can pay by the inch," she says. So the white guy goes in and comes out with a smile on his face, "Not only was she great," he says, "but it only cost me $75!" Now the black guy goes in and comes out smiling, "She was good, and It only cost me $100!" In goes the Jewish fellow and he soon comes out smiling, too. "Well, how much did it cost you?" the other two ask. "$20," he replies. With that the other two begin to laugh hysterically. "You pune!" they say, "Do you even have a dick?" "I'm not stupid," he says. "I paid on the way out." |
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| 2004-03-30 | Being Neighborly | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had had enough and actually pounded on the wall between the two apartments. There being no response she telephoned, only to get the answering machine. Finally she went to the model's door and just kept ringing the bell. When the model answered, the wife fumed, "I would like to know why it is my husband takes so damn long to get something over here." "Well sweetie," the model purred, "all these interruptions sure ain't helping none either." |
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| 2004-03-30 | Creative Contraception | Rating: 15/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Three women get together for coffee and the topic of conversation turns to contraception. The first woman says: "We've used the rhythm method for years. The Holy Father approves of it and its surprisingly effective - it's only ever failed us twice." The second woman says: "Holy Father, Shmoly Father. We don't go for all that pious claptrap. We've always used the pill. It's easy, it doesn't rob us of our pleasure and it's only ever failed us once." The third woman says: "We've always used the plate and bucket method. My husband and I met in the army and it was hard to get any private time with each other so we'd usually hide out in a closet somewhere. My husband, being shorter than me, would have to stand on a bucket. When I'd see his eyes get as big and round as plates I'd kick the bucket out from under him. It's never failed us." |
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| 2004-03-29 | The Third Castoway | Rating: 45/100 based on 4 votes. | ||||||||||
| A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. "Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts." The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!" They yell back, "We're not screwing!" A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the second man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!" Again they yell back, "We're not screwing!" Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man yells down, "Hey, I said no screwing!" They yell back, "We're not screwing!" Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He's not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are hard at it. The husband looks out from the tower and says, "Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they're screwing." |
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| 2004-03-29 | How to Clear a Men's Room | Rating: 45/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q. What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? A. Look at the guy standing next to you and say, "Nice dick." |
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| 2004-03-28 | Memory Test | Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Three guys are debating who has the best memory. First guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade class." Second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery School!" Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing. I can remember going to the senior prom with my father, and coming home with my mother!" |
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| 2004-03-28 | Compliments - Good and Bad | Rating: 20/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom. "Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!" "Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand." About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye. "Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked. "I took your advice." "Didn't you compliment her?" "Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too." "It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said. "Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment." "What did you say?" "For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much." |
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| 2004-03-27 | Why Can't Miss Piggy Count to 70? | Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? A: Because every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat. |
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| 2004-03-26 | Three Twin Daughter's Birthday | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| The father of three twins said that on their 16th birthday they could each have a guy in their room. He kept his word and each had a guy in their room on their birthday. The father listened in on the first and heard them talking. He went to the second door and heard laughing. Finally he went to the third daughter's door and heard nothing at all. Later that night he asked each one what they did. The first daughter said that she got to know him. The second daughter said her guy was tickling her. The father asked the third daughter why her room was so silent. The daughter replied, "Well you told me never to talk with my mouth full." |
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| 2004-03-26 | The Cat and the Rooster | Rating: 20/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| There are four animals. A rooster, a rat, a worm, and a cat. In the middle of them is a pond. Every time the rooster tries to go around the pond to get the worm everyone moves around. If he goes the other way the same thing happens. So he decides to go over the pond. He gets a big run, jumps, and flaps his wings and gets over and gets the worm. He is very happy. The cat (who really wants to get the rat) decides to try the same trick. He gets a run then suddenly stops right at the edge. It is too far of a jump. So he gets a bigger run and SPLASH, right in the middle of the pond. The Moral of this story is "Whenever there is a happy cock there is a wet pussy." |
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