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| 2004-04-05 | National Condom Week Proposed Slogans | Rating: 50/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| Cover your stump before you hump. Before you attack her, wrap your wacker. Don't be silly, protect your willy. Before you blast her, guard your bushmaster. Don't be a loner, cover your boner. When in doubt, shroud your spout. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong. If your not going to sack it, go home and wack it. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey. Before you bag her, sheath your dagger. It'll be sweeter if you wrap your peter. If you slip between thighs, be sure to condomize. To save embarrassment later, cover your gator. You won't get sick if you cap your dick. If you go into heat, package your meat. While your undressing Venus, dress up that penis. When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up that trouser mouse. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker. Especially in December, gift wrap your member. Before you start rockin'be sure your cock gets a stockin'. Don't be a fool. Vulcanize your tool. The right selection? Sack that erection. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil. A trank with armor will never harm her. When she gets bolder, put a helmet on that soldier. |
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| 2004-04-04 | What Do You Call a Gay Dinosaur? | Rating: 25/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: What do you call a gay dinasour? A: A Megasore-ass |
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| 2004-04-04 | 80 Year Old Man and Two 18 Year Olds | Rating: 70/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice. The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?" "Never Father, I'm Jewish." "So then, why are you telling me?" "Hell! I'm telling everybody!" |
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| 2004-04-03 | Difference Between Women and PC's | Rating: 27/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: What is the difference between women and PCs? A: Women don't take three and a half inch floppies! |
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| 2004-04-03 | The Lion's New Title | Rating: 50/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| Since the lion can have sex over 100 times a day, his title has been changed from "King of the Jungle" to "President of the United States." |
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| 2004-04-02 | How Many Positions? | Rating: 35/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| I once took a sex education class in college and a funny thing happened one day. The professor arrived and said we'd be discussing positions that day and asked us how many positions did we know. I sat there too embarassed to speak but one gal a couple of seats over said, "Twelve." The professor nodded approval but as he got ready to call on another hand there was a loud call from the far back row of the 150 seat auditorium, "A hundred and one." The little professor looked over his thick glasses but couldn't make out who had spoken. Finally he called on a fellow down in the front row who replied, "Seven." And once again from the very back was heard, "A hundred and one." Finally he called on a very shy lady sitting next to me. At first she acted like she wasn't going to answer. Finally she said, "Only one sir." And the professor said, "Well young lady that is unusual. And what position would that be?" "With the man on top and woman on the bottom," she replied. And from the back of the room came that same voice, "A hundred and two!" |
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| 2004-04-02 | Aaaaawwwwk (Another Parrot Joke) | Rating: 45/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| An elegant, well-dressed lady went into her local pet shop and found a huge, gorgeous parrot in a cage way back in a corner of the shop. Catching her admiring the bird, the store owner hurried over. "I don't think a lady like you would want that bird. You see, it lived in a -- well, in a house of ill repute all its life." The lady felt sorry for the bird, bought it, and installed the cage in her beautifully appointed living room. As she carefully drew off the heavy cage drape, the bird bobbed its head and eyed her and its new surroundings. "Aaaaawk!" it suddenly said. "New house! New madam!" Taken aback, the lady was about to reprimand the parrot when her three teenaged daughters wandered in asking what all the noise was about. The parrot jumped up and down, squawking, "Aaaaaawk! New house! New madam! New girls!" Not amused, the lady was determined to cover the cage again until she could work with the poor bird, when her husband came in from work. The parrot fixed him with a beady stare as he hung up his coat. Then it flapped its wings and shrieked, "Aaaaawwwwk! New house, new madam, new girls... same old john!" |
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| 2004-04-01 | Obligations? | Rating: 13/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| Morris, a 63-year old, comes home from the office early. He enters his bedroom, and sees his best friend Sam, on top of his nude 62 year old wife. Morris, shaking his head, says, "Sam, I have to, BUT YOU?" |
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| 2004-04-01 | How to Get Pregnant | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q. What two things in the air can get a woman pregnant? A. Her feet. |
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| 2004-03-31 | Making Her Scream | Rating: 30/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream when you're having sex? A: Phone her during sex and tell her |
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