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| 2004-04-10 | Spelling Counts! | Rating: 47/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper sign advertising his services. So he told a kid to paint a sign board for him & put it above his clinic entrance. Instead of his business building up, it declined steeply. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his clinic after reading the sign. So he decided to check it out for himself. One look and he understood why. The boy only found a small wooden board to paint the sign on and he had split the word psychotherapist into the 3 words. His new sign read: Psycho- the- rapist. |
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| 2004-04-10 | Never Sleep With Employees | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| The real estate boss got a hot new secretary, and he decided to put some moves on her. But within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is working: not caring, coming to work late, and so on. Finally, he pulls her aside, and has a little talk with her. "Listen, baby, we may have gone to bed together a few times, but who said you could start coming in late and slacking off?" The secretary's reply, "My lawyer." |
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| 2004-04-09 | Conversation - Elephant and Naked Man | Rating: 70/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it? |
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| 2004-04-09 | 3 Sluts on a Stool | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| How do you fit 3 sluts on a stool? Turn it upside down. |
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| 2004-04-08 | Consolation Letter from Trojan | Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| TROJAN CONDOM CO. INC. 6944 Slippery Root drive Bendover, Mass. 696969 Dear: ________ We regret to inform you that your application to model TROJAN condoms has been rejected. Although your general appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feels that you do not achieve the positive, romantic image we are seeking for our product. A loose baggy and wrinkled condom does not promote a romantic image (your ingenious use of polygrip is admirable, but unfortunately, even that did not result in securing our product in place for the photographs taken.) Your interest in TROJAN condoms is appreciated, and we will retain your application on file in case the market for MICRO/MINI condoms ever shows a potential for development. Along with our thanks to you, we send your wife/girl friend/other our deepest sympathies. Yours Truly, Peter Skinner Director of Marketing TROJAN Condom Co. Inc. |
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| 2004-04-08 | Bad Wish | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A black man was fishing and caught a gold fish. The fish said, "If you let me live, you can have three wishes!" The man let the fish go and said, "I'd like to be white, have a lot of water and watch pussys all the time!" The fish agreed and the man became a toilet in a little girl's room. |
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| 2004-04-07 | Dallas | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A newlywed couple was on a plane to have their honeymoon in Dallas. They were a little "excited" and couldn't wait until they got to there hotel room. The went to the plane's bathroom but somebody was already there. When they got back to there seat, the bride had a idea. She turned to the groom and said, "unzip your pants." The groom does as his brid asks and she hikes up her dress and sits on his lap. The bride leans forward and taps on the person sitting in-front of her and asks,"Are you going to Dallas?" Then she leans over to the other person and asks, "Are you going to Dallas?" Then she leans over to a third person and asks, "Are you going to Dallas?" Then she leans back and bounces up and down. "We're all going to Dallas! We're all going to Dallas! We're all going to Dallas!" |
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| 2004-04-07 | Getting Out More | Rating: 67/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| A sweet young thing thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him when was the last time he had had sex. "1956," was his immediate reply. "No wonder you look so uptight!" she exclaimed. "Honey, you need to get out more." "I'm not sure I understand you," he answered, glancing at his watch. "It's only 2014 now." |
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| 2004-04-06 | Koala Bear at the Bar | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A koala bear came into a bar and ordered a beer. Acting very nervous, he checked out the clientele. Finally, the koala gets up enough courage to ask the bartender if he knew of a woman who might keep him company. The bartender replied, "We don't put up with any of that koala and human stuff here." The koala made the saddest little face and pleadingly looked at the barkeeper. He said, "Please . . . I really need a woman." Finally, the bartender gave in and said, "Well, I dont . . . know but try this number. It's up to her." The koala ran over to the phone and called. The woman on the phone told him to come over, so the koala went directly to her house and they did their thing. As the Koala prepared to depart, the lady reminded him to leave a gratuity for her services. The Koala looked at her stunned, so the lady showed him the dictionary and points to the definition of a prostitute. "Person who has sex for money." The koala's fingers flew through the dictionary. He showed the lady the definition for Koala Bear; "eats bushes and leaves." |
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| 2004-04-05 | Types of Women in the Powder Room | Rating: 45/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Indifferent - Rushes in, raises dress with a "whoop," pulls crotch of panties aside and squats with great force, rattling windows and causing breasts to bob up and down. Hums lively tunes and sounds like a bucket of water being poured from a third story window. Cautious - Has heard of so many girls contracting VD from toilet seats that she straddles bowl, leans over to flush, pees on her nylons. Worried - A week past due. Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on fingers. Uses toilet paper, examines it hopefully. Peers into toilet before flushing, sighing deeply. Walks out biting nails after forgetting to wash hands. Resolves never to go to bed drunk again. Conceited - Approaches toilet with undulating movements, giving the other girls high-fives. Raises dress by fingertips. Expression while peeing indicates that such a lovely creature should not be compelled to attend to such lowly duties. This type farts louder than a firecracker and stinks like a goat. Sloppy - Skirt drags in toilet while squatting, pees all over front of toilet seat, never uses toilet paper, drags her business all over seat, forgets to flush and emerges with back of skirt caught in pants. Timid - Looks under stall door to see if anyone else is in the can, turns on faucet full force, backs up to toilet, squats quickly,flushes for constant flow of water, coughs, hums, listens intently to learn if sound other than faucet can be heard. Ends up with loud fart, walks out blushing. Cross-Eyed - Sits on one cheek on the side of the seat and peesall over the floor. Usually wears rubber boots on her visits to the can, and carries a box of Kleenex in her purse. Frivolous - Lets stream go in little squirts to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Literary - Always takes book of the month to the can with her. Blames "Forever Amber" for her piles. Big Time - Always leaves toilet door open while she chats and brags to the other girls about the guy she "had" last night. Shows girls her panties with black lace edging and "Welcome" embroidered in the crotch. Has never been to bed with a man. Drunk - Wobbles to toilet. After several attempts, manages to raise dress. Squats on toilet with shrieks of laughter, pees for awhile singing happy little songs. Suddenly starts sobbing uncontrollably as she realizes that she forgot to pull her panties down. Sighs, continues to pee and sob. |
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