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| 2004-06-05 | Water for Corn | Rating: 50/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| One day a man and his friends go hiking in the woods. When they come back to town they see a new bar. One of the men said, "You guys stay out here and I'll go and get some water!" The man goes in and askes for a glass of water but the girl bar tender says, "You have to fuck me doggy style." The man agrees and as she bends down he grabs a pice of corn and uses it to have sex with her, then throws it out of the window. She gives him the glass of water. He drinks it and asks for three more glasses of water. She replies that he will have to have sex with her "doggy style" three more times. The man again agrees, grabs three more ears of corn and throws them out the window after he is finished. He goes outside and gives his friends the glasses of water. One of his friends says, "Thanks! I needed that after eating that buttered corn! |
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| 2004-06-04 | Difference Between Snow Man and Snow Woman | Rating: 20/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman? A: Snowballs |
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| 2004-06-04 | The Brothers | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| These two little boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward upstairs. The father "gets" the message, and they both get up and head towards the stairs. The mother turns back to the two boys and says, "We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay here and watch TV. We'll be right back, OK?" The two boys nod OK, and the parents take off upstairs. The oldest of the two boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and he gets up and tiptoes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's room and shakes his head. Back downstairs he goes, back downstairs he goes to his little brother. "Come with me," he says. The two little boys tiptoe up the stairs. Halfway up, the older brother turns to his brother and says, "Now, I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust our ass for sucking our thumb! |
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| 2004-06-03 | Priest, Minister and Rabbi - Cover Your Face | Rating: 15/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize." |
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| 2004-06-03 | Top 10 McDonald's Excuses For a Condom in a Big Mac | Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in a McDonald's hamburger a few weeks ago. Here is David Letterman's top ten McDonald's excuses for the condom in the Big Mac: 10. We were test marketing the new "McRibbed." 9. Condom, Condiment . . What's the damned difference. 8. It still tastes better than the Arch Deluxe. 7. It was either there, or in the vanilla shake. 6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true. 5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier meal. 4. Employees too embarrassed to ask "Would you like a condom with that?" 3. So what . . . A regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway. 2. Drive-thru speaker broken: "Coke with lots of ice" sounds like "Prophylactic device." 1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful. |
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| 2004-06-02 | Friend or Lover? | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| "The attractive man I met last night insists he just wants to be friends," the girl told her maiden Aunt. "Now I know what to do with a lover, but what the heck do I do with a 'friend'?" The wise old lady smiled and said, "The same as with your lover, dearie, only not quite so often." |
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| 2004-06-02 | When the Fly Goes Down Three Inches | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| There is a fish in a lake watching a fly 3 inches above the water. The fish thinks if that fly goes down three inches I'll get it. Meanwhile on the bank a bear is watching the fish and the fly and thinks, if that fly goes down three inches the fish will jump for the fly and I'll get the fish. While behind the bear on a hill a hunter is watching everything and thinks that if that fly goes down three inches, the fish will jump for the fly, and the bear will go for the fish, and I'll shoot the bear. Behind the hunter though, is a mouse. The mouse thinks that if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, and I'll get the hunter's cheese. Now stalking the mouse is a cat, the cat thinks that if the fly goes down three inches the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will get the bear, the mouse will get the hunter's cheese and I'll get the mouse... So the fly goes down three inches and the fish gets the fly, the bear gets the fish, the hunter gets the bear, the mouse gets the cheese, but the cat misses the mouse and falls into the water and drowns. The moral of the story is for every fly that goes down three inches there is a wet pussy. |
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| 2004-06-01 | Ashes to Ashes . . . | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A gay man's lover had just died of AIDS and had asked that his ashes be spread in a park. Unfortunately the man just could not bring himself to do it. An old man was sitting next to him and asked what was wrong. The younger man said his gay lover had just died and he wanted his ashes spread in the park but that he just could not bring himself to do it. The old offered to do it for him and the gay man accepted. The old man bean to spread the ashes and said, "Ashes to Ashes . . . Dust to Dust . . . If you would had stayed with pussy you would still be with us." |
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| 2004-06-01 | Tornado and the Coconut Tree | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| What did the tornado say to the coconut tree?? Hold on to your nuts because here comes a blow job. |
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| 2004-05-31 | Wild Hair | Rating: 53/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?" And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid." |
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