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| 2004-06-26 | Sperm Bank Donations | Rating: 43/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched beer. The bartender walked over with a sigh, and asked "What's the problem, pal?" "My brother just told me there's a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $40 for a donation." "Yeah, so?" "Don't you realize?" the man cried. "I've let a fortune slip through my fingers!" |
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| 2004-06-25 | Snow Plow Driver Gets Married | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new bride prepared for their wedding night. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their lovemaking. She finally announced she was ready. The man then asked if she still had that string of pearls necklace he admired so much. She replied she did indeed have it, but wondered what in the world he needed it for at a time like this. He looked again at all her "preparations" and replied, "Ain't no way I'm gonna try to go into a mess like that without chains." |
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| 2004-06-25 | Can't Get It Up | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore." "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either." |
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| 2004-06-24 | The Milkman Ate It | Rating: 43/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| One day a little boy walked in on his parents having sex. He was in such shock that he ran to his room and hid in the closet. His father came in a few moments later and said "Don't worry son. Your mom and I were just making you a little sister." And the little boy got all excited and went out to tell all his friends about his new little sister. The next day the dad came home and found the little boy crying in his room. "Whats wrong?" He asked. The little boy whimpered and said,"Well, you know that little sister you and mommy were making me? Today the milkman ate it!" |
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| 2004-06-24 | Betty Crocker | Rating: 35/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| A husband came home to his wife and she asked him to fix the dishwasher. His reply wass "What do I look like? The Maytag man?" This continued on for weeks and everyday his reply was the same. Finally one day he came home and his wife said, "The neighbor fixed the dishwasher." "How did you pay him?" her husband asked. "Well, he said I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him." "So what kind of cake did you bake?" He asked. She replied, "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?!" |
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| 2004-06-23 | Top 10 Viagra Slogans | Rating: 50/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| THE TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: * Viagra, The quicker dicker upper * Viagra, One-a-day, like iron * Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight * Viagra, Home of the whopper * Viagra, It plumps when you take 'em * Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman * Viagra, Tastes great, more filling * Viagra, Ten inches long ... and growing. * Viagra, We work harder, so you don't have to. * This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions? |
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| 2004-06-23 | Getting Old | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Three men were setting on a bench. The first one said he didn't like getting old. "My health is pretty good, he said, but my hearing is real bad." The second old man said, "My hearing is ok but my eye's are starting to fail." The third old man said, "My hearing and eye's are fine, but my memory is starting to fail. Just this morning my wife fell back on the bed and said, 'Boy I've had it' and honest to God fellows, I don't remember giving it to her!" |
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| 2004-06-22 | Millenium Product | Rating: 23/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| The manufactures of KY Jelly are releasing a new product for the millenium called y2KY Jelly. Basically its the same stuff as before but you can now use four digits where previously you could ony use two. |
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| 2004-06-22 | Snow White Enters Heaven | Rating: 40/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| One day Unfortunately there were not enough places left in heaven, so it was decided that only virgins would be allowed to enter. The angel at the "Gate To Heaven" was to check every females vagina and see wherether there was a penis mark. The first female came along and the angel found 7 marks BUT they were all to small to be counted as a penis, so that female was allowed in to heaven. "One more thing" the angel said, "What's your name?" The woman answerd, "Snow White." |
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| 2004-06-21 | 68? | Rating: 10/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| A very tired husband came home from the office after a long grueling day to find his wife in her sexiest nightgown waiting for him at the door with a couple of glasses of wine in hand. She took his briefcase from him and led him over to the couch where she proceeded to help make him "more comfortable." "How should we do it tonight, honey?" she cooed in his ear, "Shall we do 69?" "I don't think so dear. I'm pretty tired. How about 68?" he said. "Huh, 68? What's 68?" she asked, a little puzzled. "You do me, and I'll owe you one." |
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