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| 2004-07-02 | What is 6.9 | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Q: Do you know what 6.9 is? A: A good thing screwed up by a period. |
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| 2004-07-01 | Neighborhood Watch? | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot." he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt is riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied. |
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| 2004-06-30 | 50th Anniversary | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little town where they first met. They sat in a small coffee shop in the town and were telling the waitress about their love for each other and how they met at this same spot. Sitting next to them was the local cop and he smiled as the old couple spoke. After the waitress left the table, the old man said to his wife, "Remember the first time we made love, it was up in that field across the road, when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old times sake?" The wife giggled like crazy and said, "Sure, why not." So off they went out the door and across to the field. The cop smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and decided he better keep an eye on the couple so they didn't run into any harm. The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they began to undress. The old man picked up his wife when they were naked and leaned her against the fence. The cop was watching from the bushes and was surprised at what he saw. With the vitality of youth, the wife bounced up and down excitedly, while the husband thrashed around like a wild man, then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion. Eventually, they stood up, shook themselves, and got dressed. As they walked back towards the road, the cop stepped from his hiding spot and said, "That is the most wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young." "Not really," said the old man. "When we were young, that fence wasn't electric." |
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| 2004-06-29 | Man and Dog | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed-- and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds, "Could you take the dog for a walk?" |
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| 2004-06-29 | The Man From El Sass - Limerick | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| There once was a man from El Sass. His balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, It made stormy weather And then lightning shot out of his ass. |
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| 2004-06-28 | Dear Earthling | Rating: 15/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| Dear Earthling, Hello! I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting your planet. I have transformed myself into this text file. As you are reading it, I am having sex with your eyeballs. I know you like it because you are smiling. Please pass me on to someone else because I'm really horny. |
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| 2004-06-28 | Bigger Equals Dummer | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!" |
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| 2004-06-27 | The Herpies Priest | Rating: 37/100 based on 3 votes. | ||||||||||
| One day a lady went into a confesional and said to the father. Father I called a man a son of a bitch. can i be forgiven. The father then replied what did he do to you. She retold the story. I was walking down the street when a man came up to me and grabed my ass. the preist interupts and grabs her ass and says "Like this" she says "yes just like that" the priest replies well that is no reason to call him a son of a bitch." So she went on then he grabed my breast. is it ok now. Like this said the priest as he grabbed her breast. Yes just like that. Is it ok now. No replied the priest. She then proceeded. Then he stuck his dick in my pussy. Like this replied the priest, as he stuck his dick in her pussy. Yes she said. Is it ok now. No that is still no reason to call him a son of a bitch. She then told him the last part. Then he told me he had herpies. The priest replied "why that son of a bitch!" |
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| 2004-06-27 | Length is Hereditary | Rating: 10/100 based on 1 votes. | ||||||||||
| Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could." |
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| 2004-06-26 | Death by Sex | Rating: 25/100 based on 2 votes. | ||||||||||
| An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again -- the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs -- she's coming downstairs, he's heading up. "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide." "I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!" |
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Video Box 1500+ DVD Movies! |
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Deluxe Pass 1500 Adult DVD's |
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