| 2004-07-19 |
Blonde - Multiple Orgasm |
Rating: 25/100 based on 4 votes. |
Q:What does a blonde say after a multiple orgasm?
A:Way to go Team! |
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| 2004-07-19 |
Little Johnny |
Rating: 42/100 based on 5 votes. |
Mrs. Philbert is teaching her class about
multiple-syllable words. Little Johnny is
in the back of the classroom, bored as usual.
"Now words like bike, cheese and shoe only have
one syllable. Does anyone have an example of a
word with 2 or more syllables?"
Little Johnny raises a hand and is called on.
He stands up and says "Autoeroticism."
That's a word with more than one syllable." Impressed, the teacher repeats the word,
"Autoeroticism! Wow Johnny! That's a mouthful!"
Johnny rises quickly from his chair and says,
"No. Autoeroticism is masturbating. What you're
thinking of is a blowjob!" |
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| 2004-07-18 |
Life in Candyland |
Rating: 50/100 based on 2 votes. |
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my Big Hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was
easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Krackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden . . . my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped . . . Baby Ruth! |
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| 2004-07-18 |
Viagra Ingredients |
Rating: 43/100 based on 3 votes. |
They finally released the ingredients in Viagra:
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
95% Fix-A-Flat |
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| 2004-07-17 |
Speeding Up Sex |
Rating: 55/100 based on 2 votes. |
Q: How do you make a man cum in 30 seconds?
A: Tell him you're going to cum in a minute! |
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| 2004-07-17 |
Cooking a Potato |
Rating: 50/100 based on 2 votes. |
Q: How do you know when it's time to take a potato out of the oven?
A: Well, it's like sex -- you have to squeeze it. If it's hard you leave it in. If it's soft you take it out. |
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| 2004-07-17 |
Robot Secretary |
Rating: 48/100 based on 5 votes. |
Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek.
"Hey, bud, how are ya?"
"I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"
"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!
"No way, how could that be?"
"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right
tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!"
"Holy shit! You're kidding, right?"
"No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her"
So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh!
Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"
The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!" |
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| 2004-07-17 |
Tough Choice |
Rating: 33/100 based on 3 votes. |
A man arrives home one evening and found his wife in bed with another man. Without hesitation, he grabs the offending man by his private parts and drags him to the garage.
He puts the man's private parts into a vice and removes the key so it can't be loosened. Then, he walks over to the work bench and removes the saw from the pegboard.
The naked man exclaims, "Give me a break! Please don't cut it off..."
The husband hands the man the saw and replies, "This is for you. Now, I'm gonna set fire to the garage and leave. What you do next is your decision." |
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| 2004-07-17 |
Moby Dick |
Rating: 57/100 based on 3 votes. |
Q: Who is Moby Dick's Father?
A: Papa Boner |
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| 2004-07-17 |
Ultimate Rejection |
Rating: 40/100 based on 3 votes. |
The ultimate rejection . . .
Your hand falls asleep while masturbating . . . |
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